How to Find Your Confidence

I have naively let my lack of confidence impact on my life of late; perhaps one of the reasons why I haven’t blogged for a while. But sucking at the confidence thing shouldn’t have to negatively affect our lives.

In fact, there are so many ways we can grow our confidence levels. OK, not saying we’ll go from super shy to Taylor Swift over night, but we can certainly make small changes in our behaviours and attitudes which will get us one step closer to Swifty confidence. Here are a few things that are helping me to slowly improve my confidence.

Stop caring about what other people think

I’m the worst at this. Worrying about what people think of me, wondering if people like me, forcing myself to go to social gatherings I don’t want to go to just so I can pretend to fit in…my list is endless. But really, who cares what people think? As long as you’re being kind, honest and true to yourself that’s all that matters. Plus, everyone else is too busy worrying about themselves to even notice!

Stop comparing yourself to others

When you aren’t feeling confident, scrolling social media and comparing your life to other people’s lives is probably the WORST thing you can do. And yes, we are all guilty of doing this! Remember, they are only going to post the very best bits of their lives. Don’t let this bring you down, instead, try and soak up their happiness and positivity and let it shine out of you.

Learn to love yourself

Stop thinking that you aren’t good enough. Your uniqueness and your “flaws” are what makes you YOU. An original is worth far more than a copy; so embrace who you are and start loving it, the happier you are on the inside the more confident you will be on the outside.

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Join a group/club

Find something you love to do and join a club, go to the socials and make friends. Whether it be a sport, choir or church group, being around like-minded people will help you develop your confidence without even trying to. I actually find this really difficult, but I promise going for the first time is the hardest. It get easier.

Step out of your comfort zone

Start facing your fears. If you love singing, go to an open mic night, if you love running, enter a charity 10k; when I achieve something I never thought I could, everything else seems so much easier! But don’t run before you can walk, you want to build your confidence slowly not scare yourself with the first new thing you try.

Talk to someone about how you feel

Chat to your best friend or a family member about your lack of confidence and how it’s affecting your life. I bet you they’ll have some great advice. My mum was a hero when I told her about my confidence issues, chatting to her helped me so much. Plus, if you have the confidence to talk about it, you’re already on your way to making it better.
Remember that everyone feels nervous/shy at some point. We all have different reasons for low confidence levels and there are so many ways we can make it better. Just remember we are all beautiful and we are all worthy. Be confident in who you are and everything you do, and you can’t go wrong.

Have any of the above tips helped you? I’d love to know of anything else that has helped to improve your confidence!

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Frankie x

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